Ab Na Kahunga (Haal-e-Dil)

(A year ago)
Ab kuch na kahunga...
Le bas ab chup hi rahunga...
Khamoshiyon mein gum sa rahunga...
Pyar hai tujhse fir na kahunga...
Jesa tu chahti thi vesa thek...
Pyar tha vo jo tujse manga nahi thi koi bhikk...
Teri un baton ne teri har jid ne di hai har dafa mujko ek seekh...
Ab nahi mangunga tujhko tujhse...
Ab nahi hath jod tujse kahunga mujko jarurat hai teri...
Nahi btaunga ke pehli pehli mohabbat hai tu meri...
Ab har dafa ki tarah nahi tuje sataunga...
Ab nahi kabhi bhi tujhe apni dil dukhati baton se ubaunga...
Par ye khamoshi meri kya tu sehan kar payegi...
Bejuban sa kar ke muje kya tu gunguna payegi...
Kya karegi ab kise or ke liye geet banegi?
Teri ye anokhi adae ye najakat ye jalim sharafat sayad kise or ka kafan banegi...
Ha kafan hi hai ye teri sajayein jo pyar kare tujse kam se kam ye to na paye...
Ab kya kahu kon tujse jeet sakta hai koi kse tujhko samjhaye...
Ke gar tumhe koi chahe or khud ke jeene ki vjah bataye...
Ek khuli Kitaab ki trah panne ban bikhar jaye...
To kya thek rahega ke uski majburi or pyar ki kamjori ka fayda uthaya jaye...
Use tooda jaye bech raaho mein chora jaye...
Use uski hi najro mein giraya jaye...
Pyar kiya hai tujse itna, tera ye farz banta hai kya?
Jo is kadar use jhukaya jaye...?
Na koi majburi na koi wajah...
Teri mohabbat ki duniya mein teri rajaa...
Teri rajao mein ye kesi saja...
Mein to tuje sahi mayno me tab manta jab teri berukhi or mujpe padti vo behraham dukho mein teri hasi ki wajah janta...
Koi to karan hota mein to bachpan ka dost tha tera tu jo bhi tha tu mujhse batati...
Kya hai karan kya hai wajah muje ek dafa aram se bethkar samjhati...
Usme aage meri galti gar muje teri koi bat samajh na aati...
Ya fir mein fir bhi sab jante hue tuje presan karta...
Yahi to chahta tha mein ke tera dil mujhpar itna ehsan karta...
Saala 4th class se 2003 se 2016 a gya...
Kitne varsh beet gaye...
Muje to ye samjah nahi aata ke itne saal bad bhi tujse koi ummed nahi...
Tujse ab koi bachti sath rehne ke, tere diye dukh sehne ki, wajah nahi...
Fir bhi mein kyo hun yahan...
Mein kyo hamesa ese atka raha kyo na tujse dur gaya...
Ye to yar ram ji ke vanvas se b jyada ho gya...
Gin le 14 varsh yani 14 years one sided never ending continuous unstoppable unforgettable deadly heart crushing love...
But ni tuje kya tuje padi rahi hamesa apni...
Tu teri lyf teri problems tera future teri respect tera time jo muje ni mil sakta...
Or mera kya?
Socha tha sab kuch set karke tuje paunga mein to aj bhi ese h sochta hu...
But chor dia ab tujse kehna or samjhana...
Kyonki mein tut ta hu girta hu gidgidata hu tuje maja aaata hai tu meri or mere pyar ki dhajjiya udati hai...
Full of ignore or esi baatein jiski tuje koi parwah ni ke mujpe kya beetegi...
Or mein to has deta tha fir bhi or fir roota tha...
Ab ni roota bada jo ho gaya hu...
But fir bhi emotion or feelings to vahi hai...
Khud ko hmesa busy rakhta hu love songs ni sunta ese chjo se dur rehta hu...
Kyonki tuje bhulna jo chahta hu bevkof mein...
Din bhar khud ko jese bhi busy rakh ke kosis karta hu tu yaad na aye bas...
Lekin sham ko tamam kosise nakam ho jati hai...
Jitni der se bhi laitu sone teri yaad laut aati hai...
Or fir sach puch to ab dam sa ghut ta hai...
Or bas fir achanak se jab dard ke bandh toot jate hai to ankhon se chupke se,
Ansu beh jaate hai dono ankhon se or continuously jb tk sare dukh dard beh ni jatein tab tak behte rehte hai or tab jaake kambakhat aram milta hai or kuch ghanto ki chain ki neend...
Chain ki neend kahe ki saali usme bhi yaddein beetein pal or battein or kise kise din to tu dikhai deti hai sapno mein...
Bas itne tu rehti hai to rab se dua yahi rehti hai ke gar tu sach mein hai to bas yhi chahta hu ke ye ankhein ab band he rehne de
Ye khwabo mein itne kareb hai to muje sulae rakh or ye khwab yun hi rehne de...
Khuda bhi tujse mila hua hua hai...
Tuje khuda jo man betha tha mein tab se mujse judaa(lost/separate) hua hai...
Dekha Rab bhi hum se rutha hua hai..
Tu gai to sab chla gya ab kuch nahi raha...
Mne te haaal apna kise se nahi kaha...
Kehta b kyo or fayada bhi kya...
Or kayda bhi kya...?
Kassh tu, tu na ho ke vo hoti jo muje behad chahti hai me us se dur bhagta hun or vo muje tujse chen na chahti hai...
Use sab pata hai tera mera mene kha hua hai ke dur reh mujhse kuch na payegi...
Tu jise meh chahta hu uski kabhi jagah nahi le payegi...
Mein mita dunga khud ko lekin apne ap ko kise gair ko nahi sopunga...
Kassh me ye sochta hu jis kadar use laalak or kadar hai meri or samman hai mera tuje hota...
Par ni fir sayad vo bat ni rehti tu b aam hoti or tab muje teri itni fiqar na rehti...
Tu bhi or ladkiya jo muje pana chahti hai or mein unhe tere aage kuch ni samjhta tu bhi unki trah aam hoti or mein sayad itna kise or par mar rha hota or tu mere liye...
Lekin kismat ko kuch or hi manjoor hai mere ye haal bas tere aage aa ke majbur hai...
Sachi mohabbat ka sayad yahi dastoor hai...
Yaha hum tere liye itni jindagi ke sidiyan chad aye or tu apne me hi masgool hai...
Fir bhi ye kmbakhat dil itna sab kuch hone ke bad teri side le jata hai...
Sochta hu sahi galat ka tuje leke muj se hi bhid jata hai...
Iska raag muje kam hi samajh ata hai...
Mera ho ke mujse hi bagavat...
Mujse nafrat tujse chahat...
Humne to ise apna manna chor dia hai kambakhat jab teri side leta hai...
To ye tra hi hai mera ni hai...
Na jane ye kyo yahan hai...
Par iska sara focus vaha hai...
Kaha? Tuj pe...
Ise ne to hmara jeena dukhi kar rakha hai...
Khali se dil ko ye bhavnao or ehsaso se bhar rakha hai...
Kuch bhi likhu gar tere liye likhta hu to thek hai acha likh pata hu or chain pata hu...
Gar tuj se bhatka or kuch likha to likh ke khud hi ni samajh pata hu...
Ise liye kosis karta hu ya ye dil keh lo har chej me tera jikar le aata hai...
Hum to tuje na chahte ho itna sayad ye dil mera tumhe mujh se badhkar chahta hai...
Ab ek kam karo sayad muje chain mil jaye kisi din fursat ho to aaao or ise le jaao...
Jse bhi sale ko nikal ke kise chej se jis se bhi man ho or fir chahe jo bhi mera hasar ho...
Or dar hai ke kahi hum esa krne se mar h na jaye...
To bas ye to ek apka veham hai chinta hai...
Hum andar se mar chuke hai pyar karke hum kha jinda hai...?